Understand Yourself And Know Your Audience

I never knew what I wanted to be growing up. I felt so strange that every other kid in class was excited and knew exactly what they wanted to be but I just thought it would be cool to be a fireman or an astronaut. I wanted to rise to help people with the struggles of what I have been through. My confidence was low and did not believe I could be such worthy people. It has been so challenging learning who I am as an adult who does not fit the bill of mediocrity and simple rules. I have always wanted to do things my way and find a different path than what everyone else wants to do. The kids seem like they like being told what to do and how to act. For me, that was not the case. I have been suspended and expelled from every institution I have been to. I thought something was wrong with me and did not understand what I did wrong this time. It always seems to be something I trigger in someone else and they have to make a scene. I usually just laugh and say well you did it again made someone uncomfortable or jealous. My humor can be a bit dark and dirty but whatever I try not to take life too seriously and it seems like a lot of people lately are just so uptight about all these political and societal formalities. I am learning to know my audience by testing what they find funny and what their boundaries are. I didn’t learn what boundaries are growing up so I’m still learning to set them for myself. I’m pretty easygoing and open so I try not to take it so personally but not everyone’s not me. As I have learned to love myself I get to understand how it affects people with more empathy. My intention is not to hurt people is to help and support them and make them laugh. I know now sometimes it’s not my job to do that and that I need to ask for consent before I act.

©Art Gaia Frazee 7/21/2024 10:45 PM