Knowing What To Do With The Tools

I am having a hard time making a decision today. There are options but I feel overwhelmed by trying to figure out what’s best for me. I do not even know what’s best for me which is even more frustrating. Then I choose to not make a decision and just rest and do nothing. Sometimes it is hard to sit with nothing but I feel it is necessary at times to process things. It can be a challenge to not want to solve problems and change the way I feel about things outside myself. It sure seems like it helps in the moment but it’s a matter of time before it resurfaces and we either deal with it or do what we usually do and distract from it. The more I run the worse things get. The pressure builds up until I cannot keep it contained anymore. I can explode into childish behavior such as complaining about little things and overreacting to all the normal parts of life. When I am in the tunnel of selfishness I need to go back to the basics of what I learned in recovery. I must keep my tools oiled and sharp or they become unusable and take more effort to find them in the shed that has overgrown with weeds and rodents. I remember how far I have come and look forward to how far I have to go. When am connected to my heart I do not get lost in despair of my mind. Acceptance is always a good practice when I am lacking in love. It helps me feel like life is full of pleasure and connection. When we get lost in our uncomfortable feelings we can find another outlet to help us find the serenity again. I ask for another chance to learn more about how to access more self-acceptance and how to be more in touch with what my feelings are letting me know.

©Art Gaia Frazee 7/5/2024 7:21 PM