The Past As A Hidden Blessing

This is the path I have been waiting for and I am finally getting down to business by putting myself out there as a healer, a guide, and a leader. I am still clearing up some of the final roadblocks that are causing me to be paralyzed by the grip of fear and judgment. It has taken me so long to finally get here and through all my pain has awakened as a great asset that I would have never known if it was not for my spiritual awakening. I almost did not make it here for I was lost in grief and a terrifying addiction that left me to near death a few times. When the love of a mother saves your life you really realize how your life isn’t just about yourself but how it’s about so much more. We touch many people with our life and it’s important to remember that our behavior can hurt others. I was hurting so bad and I believed I did not care about anyone or anything. This selfish and self-seeking behaviour was creating a false and negative narrative of loneliness and isolation. I believed that no one loved me or cared about me. This was far from true. It was just very difficult to love me as the person I had become. It was one of the scariest and darkest places I had ever seen. I was like a little demon that was haunted by the shadows of the night. The more I dwelled in that place the more I believed that this was my only reality. It is hard to believe looking back what had become of me. It blows my mind sometimes how far I have come and how amazing my life is today. I practice living a spiritual-centered life that helps others and does the right thing that aligns with my values and standards of compassionate grace and mercy. What a way to not have to live with the guilt and shame that I carried all the time due to my using and abusing. It is not my fault the world is messed up or that my little brother died. The only thing that is in my control is how I work my relationship with myself, with recovery, and with my higher power. Together with this fellowship, I can live the dream of the wise healing rainbow warrior.

©Art Gaia Frazee  5/31/2024 Pm 11:11 Pm