A Rewired Broken-Hearted Fool

The time can slip away the older I get it seems like I cannot get as much done as I used to. I have learned to accept that it is not about the quantity of something but the quality of it. I get lost in the obsession of fixing things at times and I lose track of time and it affects how I show up in the world. The best thing is to remember that I am worthy even though I fall short of meeting the finish line. I sometimes forget to be gentle with myself when I lose track of reality. It can hurt and feel like I am a failure but I do not need to listen to that voice anymore. Yes, I am a hot mess at times and that is perfectly understandable considering what I have been through with all the trauma and trying to grow up on my own. It sometimes brings tears to my eyes knowing the suffering of this world and all the bullshit that we put each other through. I wish people could just get along and treat this world with some dignity but this is just a fantasy that I wish things were different. I know I do not deserve half of the things I have but I guess through my pain I earned some freedom. These spiritual dollars pay off when it all falls apart and that resiliency helps me put the pieces back together again. I never give up no matter how hard it gets and I am grateful I can call on your strength to pull me out of the pit of despair. I no longer need to dwell in that place for long it is just a reminder that sometimes I need to feel the pain and learn from my grief. You are my friend no matter how many years ago you passed. You taught me how to truly laugh at this business of life people hold up so seriously. The lie of fake and evil tricksters deceiver of the darkness trying to uphold its false contracts and plots of ownership. There is no joke about this black magic that people aren’t even consciously considering. It is a sad day when we have to pray for another way and to spread mercy amongst the land of our fellow man. Me me me is the mantra of the world and I am moving forward into the we we we and matters of the heart. You hold my hand when it gets tough and thankful you understand how to work with a brokenhearted fool like me.

©Art Gaia Frazee 5/16/2024 2:41 Pm